Why would he want to change America?

Two college age men walking through the Capitol building talking politics. One said:

Male: I can’t vote for Obama because he says he loves America, but wants to change it. Why would he want to change something he loves?

Using HD in the worst possible way

Two men walking out of Yummy Buffet off of State Street. One says to the other:

Man: “…gonna use it to get one of those HD TVs and then I’ll watch porn like a mother fucker!”

Pissy landlords

Echodropped on State Street:

Guy: Here are my keys. Its a shitty little apartment and don’t be offended by the smell. I swear the landlord comes in while I’m at class and pisses in the heater.

Drunk shaving always a bad idea

Echodropped on State Street:

“So then I drunkenly took a razor to my mouth. And that is how that happened.”

How could the government do that to Ye Ole McDonald’s

BC sent this in as two college students passed by a new post office in Madison. The post office moved into a space previously occupied by a McDonald’s near the University of Wisconsin campus:

Male Student 1 spoke with a mark of indignation as they passed the new Post Office: “Did you see what they did to the old McDonald’s?”

Male Student 2 simply responded, with shock in his breath: “Duuude…”

My life for a sandwich

Heard while walking down Gilman:

Man: “He held a knife to my throat and  threatened my life…”

(pregnant pause)

“…the least he could do was..” yells the rest “HAVE THE DECENCY TO OFFER ME HALF HIS SANDWICH!”

Why would you put panties on a turkey?

Just two hours ago I walked by two men standing outside of Taco Bell on State Street. At the same time a co-ed walked by lugging a huge basket of laundry and it tipped over. Her clothes, including  unmentionables, spilled onto the ground. She scrambled to pick them up and one of the men said to the other not so quietly:

“I’d like to peel those panties off of my Thanksgiving turkey.”

What?

The choices we make…

(sent in by E.M.)

Walking up Johnson toward the Carol St. Ramp around 5:30pm, I passed a young woman on her cell phone and overheard this snippet:

“I chose to be a retard because that seems to make things easier.”

I would beg to differ, but to each their own, I guess.

Spiro Gyro

Woman at the Taste of Madison:

“Is it pronounced guy-row or gee-row?”

TDPF: Drama-rama

Via Wet_Pavement on The Daily Page:

  A group of college kids taking a break from moving by enjoying the night air on the Capitol steps:

Girl #1: “I don’t want any drama this year.”
Girl #2: “But you have to have drama to avoid drama. Just not hardcore drama.”